Okay, babes. I know it's going to be hard to remake your physical appearance because I did that when I was in my mid-forties. However, it can be done. It just takes a combination of exercise, experimentation, great professionals, and a bit of money. Good makeovers can happen on tiny budgets but the results will not be as spectacular. And, you need to look good for your job (or to find a job), for dating again, and for maintaining credibility in social situations. I know that sounds shallow, but that’s the way of the world.
Hairstyles for Women Over 40 or 50
I have always had thin, mousey hair, so hairstyles are not my forte. Here is one of the best overview videos I have found online: Hair Styling Tips for Over 40s.
When this bloke tells you to watch celebrities, I want you to know that, most of the time, celebs are wearing a weave (wig) or some other expensive hair enhancement. That’s why Paris Hilton has short hair one day and long hair the next. And, though you might like Oprah’s YouTube channels, you have probably never seen Oprah’s real locks.
Your Hair Stylist is Key: The most important thing is for you to run down a great stylist who can find the right cut for your hair and face. You need to extend yourself outside your comfort zone and stop women on the street to ask who their hairstylist is. Do the same for a colorist, because most of the time, you will have one person for color and someone else for cuts.
Hair Color for Newly Single Women
I disagree with the video in one respect. I feel that you must have a definable hair color. It should not be brown with a few gray streaks or mousey anything. Most older women need a signature color like honey blonde, deep brunette, light blonde, almost black, or spunky red. Think about movie and TV stars: Would Lucille Ball have looked right with mixed brown-and-gray hair? What about the hair color of Catherine Zeta-Jones, Mae West, Jennifer Lopez, Pamela Anderson, or Kate Winslet? You need to “brand” yourself just as they have done.
Makeup for Women Over 40 or 50
Your skin has changed since the last time you were single. And, no matter what people tell you, makeup won’t take the place of cosmetic surgery…but it can make a huge difference. The best place to start your makeup makeover is Sephora. Their sales associates don’t work for just one brand, like they would in a department store. So, Sephora consultants will give you a free makeover or “color consultation”, if they aren’t busy, using their favorite products from various brands. And, these salespeople don’t work on commission.
If you are too shy to go to Sephora alone, have your daughter or a friend come with you. I’ve had the best luck with an older woman consultant and a gay guy consultant. Both were sensitive and familiar with older skin. You don’t need to buy anything right then. Go outside and make sure that the colors look good and that the makeup has staying power.
Unfortunately, my favorite foundation for aging skin, Chantecaille, is only found in high-end department stores, but I get almost everything else at Sephora.
See the video: Makeup Makeover for some ideas.
Post Divorce Body Makeover
My advice is to start working on your body before you ask for a divorce. Join a club or try out exercise videos that are geared for your level of fitness. I am very lazy when it comes to exercising because my neck problems produce migraines if I overdo movement. If I walk on a soft surface for a mile, I must take migraine meds. You probably can do a lot of things that I can’t handle, so look into joining a YWCA because being overweight can be as much of a hindrance as being older, so try to keep yourself active. On the other hand, I have known women who look better when they are heavy. Their faces become too drawn when skinny.
Plastic Surgery
Remember that I am neither a doctor nor a nurse. I can only tell you what I know, not what you should do.
Liposuction: Because of my exercise difficulties, I have had liposuction twice. The first time made a huge difference. The second time did much less. However, if you can find a reputable plastic surgeon, I recommend that you talk to him for more information.
I had too much fat under my chin and no amount of exercise would get rid of it. Also, I carried all of my weight in my tummy. The lipo helped for about five years and then the fat came back.
Resculpting your body can kickstart your pre-divorce (or post-divorce) dieting and it can get rid of genetic problem areas, but it won’t last forever. If you are still married and you have the money, have your liposuction (or facelift or other cosmetic procedure) done before you mention the word "divorce" to your husband. That way you’ll have your family to help you while you recover.
Facelifts and Skin Procedures: I cannot over stress how important it is to find a good board-certified plastic surgeon. People who might be good resources for a list of surgeons’ names are:
- Your friends
- Nurses, especially OR nurses
- Doctor’s wives
- Your doctor
- High-end hairdressers who have been in town for ages, have heard the gossip, and have seen the results with their own clients.
But, always double check any doctor’s credentials and ask your own doctor what he’s heard about the candidates on your list. Don’t go for a cheap bargain. You don’t want to fool around when it comes to your face or your health.
Skin Rejuvenation: There are so many ways a plastic surgeon can get rid of wrinkles, sags, and skin problems, I don’t know where to begin. I can tell you that I had my skin lasered (over ten years ago) to burn wrinkles off my face, but there are better laser options today. Also, I’ve read about Botox and wrinkle fillers, but I’m no expert, so I’ll steer you towards some interesting videos to give you overview information.
Remember that I don’t know anything about medical procedures and I’m not advocating any of them. I’m just giving you information. You must look into the pros and cons yourself.
- Wrinkle Fillers: Facelift, Botox, Laser Skin Resurfacing, Cosmetic Injectable Fillers
- Face Lift, Plastic Surgery, Dr. Cruise
One thing I can tell you about cosmetic procedures is that almost all women on TV that are your age have had some maintenance done. When they tell you that they stay young by eating right and exercising, that may be true, but they also know the best plastic surgeons in California and New York.
All of these options are up to you. You might want to stay exactly the same as when you were married, but I think your life will be more fun if you work towards overhauling your look. If you feel like you need a change, start with hair and makeup for a quick boost. Then, get serious about exercise. And, if you want more profound change, ask your friends about their plastic surgeons. If you live in a youth-obsessed area, like California, you may be surprised to find out that your gal-pal has one.
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Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
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