The very first thing that men should know is that they need to write a dating bio. If you don’t write anything to go with your photo, women will think you are insincere and uninterested in anything long term. Well, that may be your intent, but you won't find what you're looking for if you don’t pretend to care by writing an online dating profile.
Do write something even if you need to change it later. How hard can it be to write a few sentences about yourself? Hey, if you don't say anything, we can’t decide if you are a jerk or a nice guy.
How Women Read Dating Profiles
Well, I can’t speak for all women who are interested in dating you, but I can speak for myself. And, I have a feeling that most semi-intelligent women use the same critiquing methods that I use. If you want to attract unintelligent women, what are you doing reading my dating article? Move along.
When I critique a man’s writing, I look for:
- Spelling errors (Having a few is okay. Not knowing how to use spell check is not.)
- Grammatical errors (We’re not all English teachers, but don’t say, “He don’t know nothing,” when you mean to say, “He doesn’t know anything.” Again, try spell check or continue to sound like a hillbilly.
- Factual inconsistencies (If you say you are divorced in one paragraph and then you say you were never married in the other.)
- Income (If you have a job, you should mention that.)
- Homelessness or desperation (If you say that you lost your house in your divorce, that’s acceptable. If you sound like you are sleeping in your car, that’s not.)
- General intelligence
- No bitterness and a positive attitude
- Honesty without TMI
Good Examples for Writing a Dating Bio
You should give as much care to your dating bio as you give to your resume (assuming you have a resume and a job). Here are some real-life examples of good lines from the Seattle-area Zoosk online dating site that you can borrow and tweak:
- “I try to focus on living in the present and have no real regrets about my life.” I’m sure this guy has lots of regrets but he makes it sound sincere. Say something like this in your own words, especially if you find yourself over 40 and looking for love on a dating site.
- “Yo, fun and funny guy that loves music.” I like this. Concise, cute, and it gives me a bit of his personality.
- While the rest of this guy’s bio sounds a bit stilted, I like this part, “…a very busy and focused professional…” Saying this means that he probably has a job. So, I looked at his education level and he has an advanced college degree, which is usually a plus. Not everyone needs to have a college degree but it does prove that this guy is smart enough to fool a college professor.
- This fellow's bio is great. “I come from a big cooking family. We all grew up in the kitchen, so naturally, I became a chef a couple of years back.” See how he talks about his family and his job in a positive manner. And, he can cook! Use this type of approach and tweak it to reflect your background and your areas of expertise. Leave out the areas of expertise that are related to bedroom activities.
- “I like to go out dancing or listening to live music.” Most women love to go dancing. I’m not one of them, but I think that you should mention dancing if you like to dance. On the plus side, when you’re out dancing you will have an opportunity to get your date tipsy and revved up. Not that I should tell you.
- “It's simple...I treat my mother with love and respect...I enjoy life, I love to travel and ride my motorcycle! My job gives a ton a freedom; I’m a third generation Longshoreman in Seattle.” Sweet.
There are so many good examples on the Seattle Zoosk dating site, just look around. Women from other parts of the country can use the Seattle zip code (98101) to find men in this area if they are willing to relocate.
How to Rephrase Your Bio
Men need to avoid saying the wrong thing.
Don’t say, “I have two kids who I have 50% of the time. I'm not looking for someone to be their mom. I'm not looking to get into a serious relationship. I just want to have a good time and see what life has to offer.”
Instead, say something like, “I have two kids who I have 50% of the time. I love my kids and I’m a great father. If you love kids too, say “Hi” and we can all go to the park.” I would never advise any man to say, “I’m not looking to get into a serious relationship.” If you’re not ready, just rent a blue video.
Don't say, “I enjoy a lot of things."
Please tell us a few of those things. Say something. Why should I waste my time on a guy who doesn’t even know what he likes to do? I don’t care if it’s building model airplanes in a small room with lots of glue. Say something.
Don't say, “Spent many years avoiding serious relationships, then spent ten years happily married, ready for next adventure.”
Avoid disclosing anything about avoiding serious relationships, even if you are talking about when you were 12. Really, I'm telling you this for your own good.
Don't say, “I like sports, mostly football…”
No kidding? Don’t start your profile with something we already know. Come up with something about your life that isn't about watching sports.
Don't say, “...since I have gotten clean, I wasted most of my life on my addiction, now I am active in my recovery I'm coming up on 6 years on (date).”
Some information should not be mentioned in your bio. Sorry dude, don't mean to single you out because you sound like a sincere, honest guy, but you will meet better chicks if you take this kind of stuff out of your profile. Save really personal stuff for the third date. Congratulations on your recovery. Write an ebook about it. I love books with happy endings and I might promote your book.
Other Tips for Guys
Don’t show me a picture of your monster truck or your American sports car. Most women over 30 (with the exception of LA chicks) don’t care what you drive. We are not looking for a motor head unless we have car problems. And, it’s okay to talk about fishing and camping, but don't make it your lead sentence. On the other hand, if you only talk about watching TV and cuddling, I will assume that you are dead broke and can barely afford Netflix.
I hope this helps some clueless dude somewhere. If you can’t find a woman in your neck of the woods, try putting in a Los Angeles zip code (90210) to look for a woman who is sick of dealing with the jerks in LA. Expect her to be shallow but pretty; if you’re lucky you might find a gal who’s not a gold digger. You’ll have more luck in the older age brackets, like over 30.
Advice for Women Dating After Divorce
Women Dating After Divorce - Men's Profiles
Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
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