In this day and age, meeting Mr. Right can be tough. “The rules” from The Rules by Ellen Fein and Sherry Schneider (Warner Books,1995) just don't work as well, anymore, now that a whole generation of males has been molded by men’s dating talk-show host Tom Leykis. (See Resources.) Even older divorced men know the new Tom Leykis' tricks.
Women need a new strategy. Whether a girl wants just one date, or a different date every night, the formula is the same.
Self-Confidence Essential to Get a Date
The most important ingredient is confidence. A less-attractive, confident woman beats a more attractive, less confident woman, any day of the week. If a girl happens to find herself lacking confidence, she must fake it till she makes it, acting as if she is the most amazing creature in the room.
A woman should know that she is a catch. To get self-confidence, a female should:
- Make a list of all her best qualities – ones that make her stand out from the herd.
- Find ways to showcase those traits – while keeping it subtle.
How to Dress to Attract Men
The next step is looking the part. When shopping, a woman will want to put her best foot forward and highlight her:
- Great legs
- Cute derriere
- Small waist
- Good cleavage (just a little)
Every woman has one thing that makes her fabulous.
How to Meet Guys
Improving oneself is an important part of life. A single, newly separated, or divorced woman must eat right and work out, even if this means breaking old habits. Other tips:
- Practice with makeup
- Keep hair longer
- Get manicures and pedicures, or learn to do these
- Stand up straight to look 5 pounds skinnier and more confident
Appearances do count. A girl should dress casual sexy, but not slutty. "Too showy" will categorize a woman as “one night only”. Grooming is as important in a grocery store as at a party.
Finding Love
When a woman goes out, she should make sure to smile and look like she’s having fun. When entering a room, try this:
- Pause for a few seconds to make sure “all eyes are on you”.
- Glance around the room.
- Make eye contact with a man and then smile.
Just consider this to be practice. That guy is not “marriage material”, but this technique is about learning to be comfortable with new people. Get in the habit of talking to strangers: women and men.
Where to Meet Guys
It’s a different world. Newly single women will find that this isn’t the world of their mothers. While men are natural hunters, and must chase the female (not the other way around), there is nothing wrong with approaching a man first. If a gal continues to date that guy, he won’t remember it.
When a woman is sitting at a table, she should:
- Sit facing the room
- Keep her arms uncrossed and her body language inviting
- Smile and look as if she’s having a blast
Make the First Move
A woman should wait until she has been at her location for a while. Then:
- Casually glance about the room
- Lock eyes with the male “target”
- Smile and then look away and down.
- Wait a couple of minutes and do this again.
If a gal is at a bar, chances are the guy will come over. Anywhere else, the woman might want to practice being social, and make a simple first move.
Practice Meeting People
Approach the man with confidence, good posture, and shoulders back. Go over and say, “Hi,” or ask him if he’s seen a tall brunette in a blue tank (imaginary friend) or if he knows a good restaurant. Talk to him for a while. Smile. Be sincere and feminine. Feel it out. And, remember that it’s just practice. Don’t consider it real. It will seem awkward because it’s new, but it will become easy with practice.
Go Out With a Girlfriend
Don’t go out in large groups of women to look for men. It is too intimidating for a guy to approach a group. A gal should go out with one girlfriend and should make sure her pal is not more attractive than she is.
- If a girl hits it off with a man, she should never leave with him.
- The goal is to make it fun and leave him wanting more.
Meeting guys is easy, but a girl must log some hours reading the right books. The best are listed in "Resources" below. Any Woman can meet great guys. It just takes confidence and practice.
More Articles:
Wedding Dresses for Older Brides: Women Over 40
Advice for Women Dating After Divorce
Grants for Single Mothers for College
Resources:
Argov, Sherry. Why Men Love Bitches: From Doormat to Dreamgirl – A Woman's Guide to Holding Her Own in a Relationship. Avon, MA: Adams Media, 2002.
McCann, Jess. You Lost Him at Hello: A Saleswoman's Secrets to Closing the Deal With Any Guy You Want. Deerfield Beach, FL: HCI, 2008.
Lowndes, Leil. How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships. McGraw-Hill, 2003.
Pease, Barbara. The Definitive Book of Body Language. New York: Bantam Books, 2006.
Any book by Ginie Polo Sayles
BlowMeUpTom.com. Talk Show Host: Tom Leykis
Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
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