Women who are dating online know that the most important part of a profile is the picture. Here's how to look better in photos without resorting to excessive and cheesy Photoshop tricks. (Tricks are bad.) When you walk into the room to meet someone new, Photoshop will not come with you.
Women Over 40 & 50
If you are dating after divorce, there’s a good chance that you will be in the over-40 category. That’s life. Deal with it. But, deal with it honestly. You must use a recent photo (within six months) and, except for simple Photoshop retouching, like adjusting lighting and color (for skin tone), it should be a simple photo of you … the real you.
Close Up Photo – Headshot
First of all, you must post a photo. If you don’t, men will assume that you are hideous looking. And, if you don’t feel comfortable putting your face online on a dating site, you are not ready for serious dating.
If you aren’t sure how you want to look in your photo, check out your “competition” on a few dating sites. Just sign up for a free preview on almost any online dating site. Then, switch your gender from “Female Looking for Male” to “Male Looking for Female”. If all the women’s photos look fabulous, remember that those gals probably don’t look like that in real life. You must be the exception to that rule.
Rules for Online Photos
I dated online for years (and somehow ended up remarried), so here are my rules:
- No fuzzy glamour shots
- Use a recent photo
- Smile
You must be smiling in your photo. Take lots of pictures until you get a nice photo that doesn’t look corny and frozen. Take 100 pictures if necessary. Sometimes, it takes a while to catch your true personality. (Ha ha. I just read that squeezing your butt-cheeks together will make people smile in a natural way. It’s worth a try.)
Men are attracted to red clothing, so wear it or use it in the photo. If red doesn’t look good on you, go a bit pink to make your face glow. However, use a different color if everyone else is wearing red. But, most importantly, wear something that you like.
Find a Photographer Friend
You need a friend who will take enough time to get the right shot, even if you have to come back the next afternoon.
- Use a flash in sunlight; otherwise, you will get harsh shadows.
- You may get better results at sunset, with oblique rays or on gray days with flat lighting.
Posing for Your Online Portrait
Everyone has a different trick that works for them and their face. Here are some of the popular tips:
- To look slimmer, angle your body a little so your shoulders are not square, then turn your head toward the camera.
- My favorite pose is to tilt my head sideways and smile. Somehow, it makes a lady look younger.
- Try a slightly downward tilt of the head. Studies have proven that men find this pose to be sexy and attractive, ala Princess Di.
- Pushing your tongue to the roof of your mouth (while smiling) diminishes the look of a double chin.
- Some people say that you should push your face forward (just slightly) to get rid of a double chin.
- You can make your neck look longer with a V-neckline. And, don’t hunch your shoulders; sit up straight and tall.
- (Don’t try to do all of these things in one photo, you’ll fall over laughing. And, that might be the best photo of all.)
Hair Tips for Your Online Bio Photo
The photo above is a good example of casual hair. She would be cuter in a red or blue sweater, but her hair and smile are perfect.
- Your hair should be a definite color (i.e. blonde, brunette, red, almost black, no mousey colors).
- Make your hair higher by ratting it up (backcombing) or just fluffing it. This makes your face look narrower. Let your hair blow around if you’re outside. It makes you look friendly and natural.
Makeup for Photos
Lots of women recommend Kiehl's clay masks to rev up their skin (use white clay for dry, older skin). My daughter uses the red or green clay. I want to try it soon.
For Baby-Boomer-age makeup, I like Chantecaille. Beforehand, I use Patricia Wexler Microbrasion. Some photographers say you should apply a bit more makeup than usual; about like what you would wear at night. Try it both ways to see what looks best on you.
- Photoshop: If your coloring looks dull, add a puff of “blush” in Photoshop. Click on your lip color with the eyedropper tool and “paint” this onto your cheeks at about 10% opacity with a large brush. Don’t overdo it.
- Pearls earrings and/or pearl necklaces in the right color will add a bit of light to your face. Just don’t look like a prudish schoolmarm.
Any Photo That Looks Like You is Good
It’s not that hard to get a photo that’s good enough for your online dating bio. You’re not going to blow it up to 8x10 and hang it in your living room. The most difficult part is to find a good friend who will take enough time to help you get a good headshot. And, the most important thing about the photo is that you have a friendly smile.
What you write in your bio is secondary and meaningless compared to your picture.
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Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
