Fathers' rights groups will cheer the new study from Florida which says that children need dads, and that grown children of divorce feel that they should have had more time with their fathers. Daughters, especially, get short changed when they don't learn male–female interaction.
Children Need Dads
A new study by psychologist Gordon Finley, at Florida International University, contends that children need their fathers in their lives after divorce. Finley states that courts often disregard a father’s continuing role in their children’s lives and ignore factors concerning how children benefit from their father's presence.
Until recently, only a mother came under scrutiny during a divorce, but now a father’s role is becoming more important. Dads should learn what courts look for when deciding custody issues, and only a personal divorce or custody attorney will be able to give specific advice for the state where the divorce is filed. Each state has different laws, but a good lawyer will be able to explain more than just the bare facts.
Divorce Study
The Florida International University study focused on how divorce impacted the development of children. Their findings were substantial and showed that fathers have a unique role within families even after divorce.
The study looked at answers from 1,989 young adults and the conclusion was that divorced children really missed their fathers and felt that the courts had withheld a normal father-child relationship from them.
Father's Rights
Divorce cuts off a father's relationship with his children. According to the study, "...(A) father becomes a visitor" in his child's life. Yet, a dad's relationship with his children significantly predicts the child's adjustment to his or her new life. Also, children from divorced families acknowledged that they wished their fathers had been a bigger part of their childhood.
Children without Fathers
In almost every circumstance, barring child abuse or maltreatment, children do better with a father to help care for them. Here are some statistics for wives and soon-to-be ex-wives to consider:
- 63 percent of teenage suicides involve kids from fatherless homes
- 85 percent of all children with behavioral disorders have no father in their lives
- 71 percent of all high school dropouts have no father
How many of these statistics could be changed by changing custody laws? There is no way to know, but society should demand that these problems be considered when courts grant custody to mothers. Society and courts should do whatever they can to keep mothers from moving away to neighboring cities and states, unless there is an obvious and overriding exception.
Fathers and Daughters
One unusual finding is that female children are impacted much more negatively by divorce than are sons. While boys need a role model, girls from divorced families have more difficulty with men and marriage than once thought.
If daughters don’t have an ongoing relationship with their fathers, “When they enter adolescence and start questioning whether to have sex, they don’t have a realistic idea of what men are like,” according to Finley.
Best Interest of the Child
While more research needs to be done, couples considering divorce should work out custody arrangements that hold the child’s best interest as the highest, most important goal. Kids can live without fancy toys and clothes, but they need to see both parents. All divorced moms and dads will eventually see the importance of this in the eyes of their children.
Information from this article is not intended to be a substitute for advice from a lawyer, financial planner, therapist, or other professional. Please consult a lawyer or other professional for specific advice.
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Resources:
Aguila, Sissi. "FIU lab investigates the state of fatherhood". June 15, 2009. fiu.edu.
Finley, Gordon and Schwartz, Seth. "Father Involvement and Long-Term Young Adult Outcomes: The Differential Contributions of Divorce and Gender". Florida International University. 2009.
Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
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