Women, especially older women, who are in the midst of divorce and have been stay-at-home moms or stay-at-home wives may not know how to negotiate the world outside their local spheres of influence. When these women lose their married friends (and losing married friends is inevitable during divorce), they no longer have their reliable support networks.
Some divorcing women have good, close families that can offer social support, but that situation is increasingly uncommon. These days, family members live scattered across the country or across the world. And, even when family members live nearby, family members know very little about the divorce process; or even worse, family members think they know how to help a woman with her divorce and give her the wrong advice.
What is a Divorce Coach?
A divorce coach can be like having a friend who will listen to your story and help you make decisions in a practical and objective manner.
Any divorcing woman who has been out of the workforce for a long period of time and is not involved in paying household bills, writing checks for taxes, and budgeting the family finances, should consider hiring a divorce coach or another divorce professional who will help her navigate many of her intricate divorce decisions.
Good Divorce Coaches Understand Finances
In the article, "Divorce Help: When You're Overwhelmed and About to Start Negotiations, You Need a Divorce Coach" at vancouversun.com, author Kathryn Greenaway talks about Montreal divorce coach, Marilyn Rackover, who helps women stay focused on crucial things like family finances and healthcare coverage. (It is important to note that Rackover, is a divorce coach, not a lawyer, therapist, or divorce mediator.)
After Rackover’s own divorce, she made friends with divorcees who had been shafted in their divorce settlements. Rackover knew she could help other women negotiate their divorces because Rackover had practical knowledge from her own divorce experience. Therefore, she became a divorce coach.
How Much Money Will it Cost to Live?
Rackover starts with finances when coaching a woman. As the Vancouver Sun article states, “Each client is given a 12-page spread sheet listing dozens of possible living expenses. The more receipts, documents and answers the client can dig up, the better her understanding will be of the real costs of her living situation.” Most women have no idea how much money their families have been paying in taxes or how much money has been socked away in their husbands' IRAs.
Finding a Divorce Coach
The trick with divorce coaches is in finding a good one. While there are organizations that give out certification, specific credentials are not always a necessity for coaching jobs. So, women who are looking for a good divorce coach should ask their lawyers, their friends, or their clergy to give recommendations. And, if selecting a divorce coach online, women should ask for references.
If a woman cannot find a divorce coach with whom she feels comfortable, she may be able to find a Certified Divorce Financial Analyst, who will be able to give guidance about important issues, such as whether to keep or sell the family home. Divorce is not the time to let emotions rule a woman’s decisions.
Note: Information from this article is not intended to be a substitute for advice from a lawyer, therapist, physician, or other professional. Please consult a lawyer or other professional for specific advice.
Further Reading:
- Best Jobs for Single Moms & College Info
- Financial Mistakes Made When Getting a Divorce
- Women Need to Make New Friends After a Divorce
Christina Gregoire - Christina Gregoire writes about divorce, fashion, and baby boomers. Her forte is explaining complex ideas in simple language.
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